My heart hurts...

Yesterday was such a crazy day! If you have not watched the video stop right now and check it out.   I woke up so early 3:30am, there was no way that I was going to be able to fall back asleep. I was experiencing to many emotions. Finally we left the hotel and were on our way. My heart was racing, yet i still could not identify my emotions. I guess a mixture of excitement and fear.  Once we got to Holt it was crazy. There was no organization at all. We stumbled upon our baby. No magic, no moment we just were handed him. It was a little hard to digest what had happened in such a short time. We ended up in a conference room with  the director of Holt here in Korea and the foster mom. We asked all the fun questions and just held him for about an hour. Then we went to our new pad where we will be staying which is a part of Holt. It is actually really nice. It is a building that has a common area, kitchen and desk area. There is another couple and their son staying here. They are from Denmark and have one adopted son from Korea and getting another today!
OK so here is why my heart hurts. Its not because I was able to meet my baby boy and then he went back with his foster mom. No its my girls and family. Its Thanksgiving and we paid $56 dollars to get a skinny slice of turkey, and nothing else. no pie, potatoes, nothing else. It was just sad. All of our families are loving on each other and spending time and here we are in a country were we stick out like sore thumbs. I just miss you guys. And to top the cake, this morning we watched the girls watch the video  on IChat. It was so great to watch their reactions, and then at the end it happened. lost it. You could see her trying to stay strong and hold it together and then she just lost it. Bawling, and what mother could stand that. Watching her baby through a computer loose it. I couldn't hold her. I just had to watch her little heart break because her mommy and daddy have been gone so long and still wont be back until Monday. Oh my heart hurts. I want to go home today. I want to be back to my life. Start our new life. I want to hold my girls let them meet their brother, be at church. Just be home. Please pray for us that these next 4 days for the girls and for us will fly by.  We get to go to the doctor right now with Losiah. We will talk to you soon. H  Here are the pictures from today.

Comments

[SnapPhoto]

I had to hurry trhu the pictures. I started to cry. I sympathize with you Heather. I miss you and Los too. Wipe, Wipe.

Come home soon.

Our love goes out to you.

Snap

[shan]

heather, i feel for you. i'm so happy and so sad for you at the same time, you've gotta have so many emotions right now. your poor girls, they've gotta miss you guys like crazy, bless their hearts (and yours). i will pray that the rest of your time there goes by so fast and that you are all (five!!!) together before you and your girls know it. only four more days. ~s

[Martha Darley]

Thanks for being so open and honest with us all. It's great to see you sharing your heart and emotions. I am thankful for friends like you. Your girls, you and Carlos and Losiah are in my prayers. I loved seeing your two pumpkins.... oh I miss them and their sweet smiles. Love you girl. Martha

[Lori-Lynn Navarro]

Heather, Losiah is so beautiful! We all watched the video after Thanksgiving dinner and cried! I miss you. I know it is so hard to be away from your kids. We are praying for you guys. Can't wait to see you, and meet Losiah soon! We love you guys!

[bridgette barkume]

hey my sweet babies,just wanted to let you know how very much you both are loved. it's a wonderful thing being able to go on this adventure with you.the emotion levels have been off the charts,more then once. be safe, be happy, and just keep being you. i am so proud of you both. mama

[Brad Metzger]

Hey Heather (and Carlos):
We've been following along and thinking about you a lot this week, even moreso today after reading this heartbreaking account of your Thanksgiving earlier.

I'll spare you the "stay strong" and "hang in there" and "this will pass". Maybe make the homesickness and separation you feel now a strong (though not fond) memory to make the times when you're all together that much sweeter.

Monday is just a few short days away .....

[tammy]

Your thanksgiving was worse than ours... but not by too much! Being on a cruise on the holiday made it seem... well... not like a holiday! So we decided we would do Thanksgiving dinner this week. Wanna come? We were so emotional over watching that video last night... wow! He is a doll... and seemingly so mellow and happy spirited in nature! OOOh those first pics of you guys together... heart melting! I can't imagine how it feels to process all the emotions! See you in a few days!
Lots of Love!

[djsgirl]

oh heather, my heart hurts for you. i cant even think of you guys with having tears come to my eyes. we love you guys and all of your babies so much, patience mama. i know easier said than done. but remember we love you and you are not alone on your journey we are all there with you if only in spirit. you are loved and so is your hole family.

[scarlett]

I love you friend! :) Huge hugs, can't wait to see you soon...Love to all!

[Rhi]

Hey mama, I'm praying for you guys. I want the time to fly by for you so you can get home and hold ALL of your beautiful children at once. It will be a glorious reunion. Stay strong. you'll be home before you know it. make as many memories as you can while you are there. you only get to go pick him up once... then he's yours forever! I'm also praying for the foster family. It's gonna be super hard for them too.

[Hale-Yeah!]

hey girl!
I am praying for you all. I know it's hard right now, but you'll be home so soon with your girls and new baby boy. What an amazing family you have. So much to be thankful for. We watched the video of meeting Losiah during our thanksgiving dinner at Brian's aunt's house. How unsocial are we?! I didn't care at all. We had been checking your blogs every hour to see him. He is amazing!!! I can't wait to hold him and to love him. Even with the family interupting and asking us questions throughout the whole video, we still got teary and emotional. Brian responded with eyes full of tears, "that's my nephew." Wow! More of your family for us to love! I can't wait to see you all. Kiara asks about our trip to Riverside a few times a day. We are all missing your family. Love you so much. see you in a couple of weeks.
Love, Jacinda

[Hale-Yeah!]

P.S. Cute new top and bag! :)
-J

[Los]

Thanks for more tears guys! Tam yes i want to do thanksgiving, and J thanks for noticing my new things. H

[Scott]

Heather & Los,

What an emotional roller coaster Thanksgiving for you guys. It's amazing what we take for granted each and every day back home. We can't imagine the emotions you guys are going through right now. Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this experience with you guys.

Scott & Windy