Courage does not roar

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice

At the end of the day saying, 

“I will try again tomorrow”.

Mary Anne Radmacher

I don’t think I could have “got” this quote in my early years of mothering……my house was always immaculately kept…..I was desperate to be “perfect”……..somehow if I did and said everything right……nothing bad could touch me…..my children would always be happy…..my husband always be in love with me…..a friend to everyone……everything blissfully……perfect……sigh :)

Fast forward 11 years and he left me for someone else……my children definitely were not happy……I lost that house…..and everything else…..including some “so-called” friends…….my world turned upside down…..literally.  

Fast forward 10 more years and this quote is how I live my life.  I often get asked by other mothers, “How do you do it….a mother to six sons…..and your still standing….”?   The reality is that “I don’t do it very good…. a lot of the time”.  What I have learned is that it takes courage to be a mother.  But, it takes even more courage to get up and do it all over again the next day.  When the last one leaves our home…..I will have been mothering roughly 40 years……it overwhelms me to see that in print :)

All any of us can really do…..IS DO TODAY……and if I blow it…..like I have on many occasions…..I ask God to forgive me…..believe Him for creative ways to do it differently the next day……get a little sleep……wake up……if I’m lucky walk Mt. Rubidoux…..read God’s word……and face up to TWELVE eyes waiting for me to either change a diaper, fix the leg that fell off of Batman, locate a Star Wars light sabre…….read and edit a history paper, fix chocolate chip pancakes, wash a load of clothes cause he’s leaving for Canada and hasn’t washed since the last gig he went on, find a lost cowboy boot (sigh)…… take another one to RCC, read a skunk book….pick up from RCC…..make 15-year-old do his geography……give permission for girlfriends to come over later…..six-year-old meltdown because Indiana Jones’ whip is missing and it MUST be found……lunch……school…….maybe sit down to close my eyes for 1/2 hour…..run to grocery store cuz they ate what I was going to fix……make dinner…..all of us crowded around our dinning room table…… plus usually some wayward soul that pops by……take my 4th to the rock-climbing gym……come back…..make homemade brownies…….Hi Rob….maybe……baths……feed Rob…..put little boys down for bed…..maybe some “me” time…..possibly Rob time…..oh…no….pick up from rock-climbing gym……Love you Rob…..wash make-up off face…..slather in some kind of wrinkle cream that, obviously, is not working……climb into bed……cry…..just kidding….not really, sometimes I do cry……tell Rob I desperately love him…….sleep…..REPEAT!    

Courage.….it really isn’t a roar…..but the ability to keep trying…..believing…….loving…..knowing that what you have given your life to……is making a difference……

Disclaimer:  Not all days will look like this…..some are worse :)