Whittaker Woman

The Big D2

Day 2 started off well... we did our birthday string right in the hotel room.

My 7 year old!



And like always the birthday string travels all over!

I can't wait to pull out old carousel rides and compare the pictures. I can't handle how fast they grow!

Jasmine! Losiah was beauty struck here and hid behind Carlos... so funny!


It was just such a wonderful memorable trip. I loved every second of it. I feel so honored to have been able to go here. As my friends were in India I felt unworthy of this wonderful trip to Disney. Oh how rich we are! H

The Big D

Disneyland... I mean World!

We started the day with no lines and so we jumped on thunder mountain a few times.

Got some love from some friends!

Mama spent $1 at the dollar store for an autograph book unlike the $$$ ones they sold at the park.

We then headed to Epcot, the DREADED park. But we loved it. They had an amazing NEMO attraction that we spent a Loooong time in!

Someone at Disney had kids and put their thinking cap on because they have this "attraction" where you stand in ONE line and then you can hit all the characters one after another! Someone was smart!


Then we headed to our big surprise... Dinner with the princesses!


They even brought the birthday girl a card from all of the girls! After dinner we used out fastpass and rode Soaring over California where... I CRIED! Yep, got teary when they flew over Yosemite. That is home folks... Could not help it!

And finally we were done! What a great day! H

I Tried to Tell Her

I look at my blog in three sections. 

Life before... The Trip... Life After

AFRICA

The trip to Uganda with Compassion impacted my life forever! I attempted to blog about it on here, but my words paled in comparison to what my heart felt. I tried to explain it to my family and friends, I know they heard me, but they still did not get it. I've tried to be the best Compassion advocate, but the truth be told... sometimes you have to see it to believe it. 

My friend Melissa is on a trip to India right now with Compassion. I must admit I am slightly jealous because two of my closest friends are on this trip and I would love to have gone too! But when I take my greedy little self out of the picture and see what God is doing I am in awe.

 Again speechless. 

As Melissa prepared for this trip we had countless conversations about it. What to wear, what to bring for the kids and best of all... what was it like. I tried to explain Compassion to her. I tried to explain that this organization GETS IT! Every detail! I tired to explain and explain, but I knew it would take this trip for her heart to be sold. I loved reading her words knowing she gets it! 

Please read these blogs and the stories they are writing for you! 

H

Florida!

We arrived on... Um I have no idea what day of the week it is or when we arrived. I guess that is a bad sentence to start with! Look what happens when you travel so much! HEHE
Anyways we are on a family vacation... that we have been blessed with! We started with a trip to downtown Disney!

Lets just say it did not start off well for one of our mouseketeers.

The older two were in Disney Heaven!

They were so excited about this dumb dinosaur and waterfall that was in the parking lot... it is going to be a fun trip if this is what excites them!

Finally they were picked to be part of this Celebration Dance. Oh you thought Sohaila was casted in a feature film. She was a STAR! Such her daddy's girl! So far... Disney lives up to its Magic! H

Redeeming Love

About 6 years ago my friend Lori bought me Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. It was not the edition with the the woman above who looks like Fabio's twin. It actually had an old western town on the cover. I read it and loved it. One day when I was at Lori's house her man Matt was dogging us and the cover of the book. He was willing to read the story, but there was no chance he would be caught with that cover. I tucked that little conversation in my brain.
So when I saw this cover, which is by the way 100 times worse than the one he was making fun of us for, I bought it for him. I wrapped it nice and neat and labeled it... open first.  I then let my kind heart jump in and  took the cover off of a copy of The Chamber. I then wrapped the cover and labeled it... open second. I then sent him his summer read, full with a manly disguise!

Matt then facebooked me this...

Ok, so I am going to start the book you sent me this week. It really is the gaaaayyeest cover ever made. I am only going to read it because you sent it, and yes, I'm going to use the fake cover the whole time. My expectations are low....

Now Matt and Lori took a cruise this week and guess who was reading what... Yep. Of all the books he could have taken, Redeeming Love was represented. But here is the best part. A woman in her 60's came up and started a conversation with Matt about how she loves John Grisham.  The Chamber is one of his she has not read and she wanted to get his opinion on it. 
(We were out to dinner with the Albee's when they were telling us this story and I had tears coming down my face, so priceless!)
So Matt being the stud he was, confessed and pulled of the cover for the lady to see. They said she could not contain herself! Oh I wish I could have been there. I love it! So yes, he has read the book and loved it, even with the added humility he had to face! H

Rise and Shine

Carlos needed some publicity pictures and I was not going to let a shoot pass with Daley and not get a shot myself! :) 

Not only was it 6AM! We had to work for it! 

And my favorite...

I love Daley! 

Vacation

Vacation is so great when you have kids...

It is glorious to leave, but even better to come home! 

Not Her!

I was captivated by fear as a child. Our home was burglarized which in returned created a foundation for my constant battle. Top that with being exposed to news stories about girls my age being abducted and I became a basket case. As a 6 year old! 

The top bunk bed was mine, which brought me great relief. One side of my bed was against the wall, which meant I only had to focus on one edge to protect myself from the boogieman. Nightly I would place all... ALL of my stuffed animals along the unprotected side of my bed. My thinking was a bit naive, but I was confident that my fuzzy friends would protect me from whoever was going to come into my room and snatch me away. I was captivated by fear. I worried and was constantly afraid. 

Today I got a text from our sitter. " Soh, had a hard day. Someone told her a kidnapping story at school and she is struggling" CRAP! I hated to read it because the sudden fears I struggled with as a child came rushing back. I could identify with her and I was across the country not able to calm them for her. It was such a parenting moment for me. Having to wait. Allowing my girl to process and not swoop in there to rescue her. Having her struggle and allow her to feel without fixing it. I know we will have the talk, but it is not phone worthy. It is a come snuggle with me on the couch kind of talk. And so until then I sit here miles away praying... NOT HER!  

Angie

Oh you all know I have waited a long time for this... 

To love on Angie and Nolan! Gosh it was so weird to know Mark is gone. We had a great day of reminiscing and talking about memories. We laughed and got deep. We listened to Nolan chat up a storm, he boy knows how to talk! Does anyone else see Sohaila in him? I had a long and great day! Lost to fill you in on! H

Umm, Thanks?

Today I was hit. Hit hard with the case of stomach gas. Not the... I need to fart kind of gas, but the painful side ache kind of gas. I had some broccoli for lunch and boy did it hit when we were on the plane at about 22,000 ft.  I eat broccoli all the time, but I guess the way they prepared it did not sit well with me.  I was in pain! Carlos did not understand... he kept telling me to fart. That was not the case. I was holding nothing back, I promise, there was nothing... EXCEPT THE PAIN IN MY SIDE!

So being the good man he is, he was willing to ask for some Rolaids, the flight attendant said "hold on". When she came back she gave us this...

Umm, Thanks? Not sure what these were for, but at least I had good breath while my side felt like it was about to burst! :) H

Family Night... Seanna's Choice

I decided to give the reigns to the kids! Seanna was in charge of the family night and she chose to do a RAINBOW night! So here you go...

She assigned us all a color to wear so we made a rainbow! Look at her smile! Ahh, that is why I do this!

They did rainbow art... Surprise, surprise!

Seanna made name tags for everyone at their seat... In a rainbow of course!

We snacked on rainbow fish!

While dinner was cooking they did a scavenger hunt to find all the colors in the rainbow!

Everything we ate was a rainbow!. Rainbow veggie sticks, rainbow fruit plate

Rainbow Salad

And best rainbow sherbet!

It was all so simple and sweet! I loved having the Seanna in charge. She was floating tonight. She loved it! Boy was she bossy! She felt the control and I think she enjoyed it just a little to much! :) H

Dear Friend

Do you have someone in your life that makes you think? 

Someone who looks at your life and is able to summarize it and explain it in words that were so deep in your heart, that you could not even put vocabulary to it? I have recently become friends with someone who does this for me. This is an email she sent me after she watched the Adoption Video #7 (about min 2). It was the day we met Losiah for the first time, which so happened to be Thanksgiving. 

This was some of her words, how she got in my head, my heart, I don't know. But 2 years later she gets it. I have pushed these things away. Life got so chaotic and I never approached these thoughts again. 

UNTIL NOW! Here you go...

"I got to watch you eating your Turkey dinner in Korea and I was watching you smile and feeling like you wanted to cry. Here you were at one of the most anticipated moments of your adult life and all you wanted was to be anywhere but there. Isn't that how it so often is for us? We long and we wait and we desire, but when reality happens...we want to run! :) I feel like that's me on a constant basis.

How we want success, but sometimes we fear success more than we fear failure. It's safer to think in the negative terms of, "what if I don't succeed, or what if I never make it, or what if I can't get a job." Because then we seemingly have control over those situations...we can fall on the default of, "well, I knew it would never happen." But...if we become successful, we have no way of maneuvering through that outcome...we don't know what to expect or how to take our life to the next level...especially if we are in a mindset of letdowns and failures."

Oh this struck my soul.

I had just met my son and yet I was so let down. 

The moment happened, but it was not like the movies.  

He was cute... but he was not mine. 

Carlos and I were together, but we felt so alone.

I wanted to be home with what I knew, what made me feel comfortable, what made me feel safe. Oh how life is funny. We long and we want, but then it happens and often we are let down. We all have dreams. Dreams of school, work, marriage, kids, retirement. We all long to have those dreams fulfilled, but often times when they are, we are not satisfied. Marriage, kids, work, retirement, what is it for you? Have you had a dream that has not turned out as you thought? H

I am taking the weekend off. See you Monday! H

My Heart

Oh just reading Backpacker magazine fills my soul! Its like a I am on vacation. Sitting there. I can feel the breeze, smell the sun on the pine needles, I can hear the sound of stillness! I love it. 

Bunnies Revisited

I was reading some past blog posts of mine and saw this one. 

I felt reposting  it was appropriate considering the recent holiday as well as this recent post...

My mom sent this card for Carlos and I a few Easters ago...UMM,  I am just saying...

Well, their HUMPING! H

Lefty Loosy, Righty Tighty

Here is a little back story for you... 

I worked on cars. Well we had to. I can remember one time in my childhood when we had someone else come and help us. Other than that it was us vs the broken machine. Here I think we were replacing my clutch. This was my second car. My first car we rebuilt the engine. Which is a heart surgery for the automobile! 

But in all reality there is not much to it. 

Really

There are books that give you step by step instructions. Simple as pie. 

However, in the midst of life I have come to cheat,I take my car in. I pay someone the amount it cost to run some countries just for an oil change. What happened. I miss this ability of mine.  

What is something you used to do but no longer do because of LIFE? H

Best Post EVER

Ok Pearmama has done it again. I promise you this is the funniest post I have EVER read. I was at Starbucks reading it laughing out loud. I was hitting the side of the chair and stomping my foot. I had to stop mid-way to contain myself. Heather... there were others in the room. Pull yourself together. 

Please go and read this post she did on her sex talk with her kiddos. Warning do not eat or drink anything as you read, it is a choking hazard! 

Girl, Go Get Me My Belt

I don't want to know if you spank your kids.

Thats between you and their butts.

But I would like to know what put the fear in you when you were a child.

Me?

A hand across my bootie.

I never wanted to go there.

For Carlos, my feeler of a husband, it was simply disappointment.

If he knew his parents would be disappointed in him, he would be crushed.

You?

H

MO to Nashvegas

I must say that our trip was AMAZING! I can not tell you how wonderful it was to dive through the night vs the day! My Pa and I split each trip up. He took the first half I brought us home. It was lovely! To have five minutes of silence in the car with 7 people is a miracle, but i had hours because we drove at night! 

G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S! 

There was not one ticket! And for a little under 2,000 miles that is more of a miracle than a quiet car! 

We rolled into Franklin TN at 6am! Rise and shine. We had no where to go so Cracker Barrel hosted us for a while. It was Losiah's third birthday so we ordered him some ice cream for breakfast. 

We then hit Nashville.

Losiah was not so into the King. 

My Pa was posing for everyone... 

Later that night the kids went to a sitters and we went out on the town. We had a lot of fun and my friend Chris came out with us! 

It was cold as snot! Well not snot. Where did that phrase come from? Hmm, ok it was cold as my feet on a winters day! :) The next day we went to check on my benches that the Amish man is building me, but no pictures there! Then we went over to The Elrods for  dinner with Randy, Chris and Spence and I guess I was just having to much fun because no picture there either. But on our final day we did go and do the Jack Daniel's tour! It was a lot of fun. Not to much fun since the Distillery is in a dry county... but still very interesting. 

Well just the update for spring break... We went from Amish to a distillery. I mean how much better can i it get? :) What did you do? 

He is three, and all boy!

I hear the girls screaming, they came upon their brother in their room stripping off the clothes to all there Barbies. All I can say is he is all boy. 

I know it is going to get worse, please tell me I can prepare! :) H

A Different Perspective Of Empty

It's 8:41am, I am in bed ready to call the troops up and get the showers going. I have an hour to get the family fed, dressed and out the door. I decided to open the laptop and check in with the world before I began the daunting rush of being a single mom this morning. What I was not prepared for was two blog posts out there that would change my perspective on the meaning of empty on Easter. Today is a day where some of us will celebrate the Resurrection Of Jesus! An empty tomb! What I was not expecting to read was the hope two women have because they have empty hearts. Both women have endure the earth shattering experience of losing a loved one this year. MaryBeth, lost her sweet little Maria and Angie lost her love, Mark. Both women blogged today and it opened my eyes to the hope we have or can have if we Believe in Jesus. It is a light that in such a dark time can carry these women along. Today we not only celebrate an empty tomb, but we celebrate the HOPE for our empty hearts. Happy Easter! H

This Face

This face cracks me up. I remember  my dad working on the car trying to unscrew a bolt and he would have this face. Or maybe it was trying to nail something or even hose with the spray gun. He ALWAYS makes this face. I love it! Here he was at Chuck E Cheese playing a shoot um up game! Ha! H

Can You Relate?

The Plan

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. The desire to stay at home and have dinner on the table at 5 has been deep inside me ever since I was playing with fisher price toys.

I had a plan.

In 2000 the plan began. Get married… check, get knocked up…check, have kids close together… check. Make sure one was at least a girl… check. I know, I know, you can’t plan some of those things. Some of you have planned and planned and there still is no man, no child, no girl. All I can say is this is my story, the way it has unfolded for me. 

In 2003 MY plan was interrupted. Well lets just say redirected. Adoption came into the picture. That was NOT in my original plan. I dreamed of a houseful. I was open to the idea of later in life adding to our family through adoption, but right then was NOT the time. I was an oven and I had more baking to do! Or so I thought.

Two years later… plans changed again. I was ready to have some babies! We quickly realized once we brought a 7 month old home… that in order for our marriage to survive we would no longer have any more babies in our casa. We could hold on for now but… The Whittaker’s don’t roll well with the little ones.

And now here I sit… with three monkeys.
Carlos and I have talked about adopting again. Siblings from Africa. I could not be more excited, I love our new plan! Then last week happened.  You remember our trip to see Steven Curtis Chapman… on the way home my man busts out “Lets start the paperwork” Aka… lets get this ball rolling.

HANG ON! WAIT ONE SECOND! PULL THOSE REIGNS ON THE HORSE.

I about had a panic attack thinking about more kids. Not because I don’t want them. I do. A family of 5 sounds glorious, I dream of it! BUT I sit in a place where I want to find ME (we all remember this post) and the thought of more kids makes me cringe right now. Yikes did I just say that? No nasty comments from my honesty please. 

So, I write this post wondering about you! How do you know when it is time to have more kids? I know right now I am not ready! I am not ready to begin the paperwork, I am not ready to begin the fundraising, I am not ready to be a momma of 5 kids. I want some freedom right now and to fathom 5 kids gives me the shakes. Yet somewhere deep in my soul I KNOW that one day 5 kids will happen. I just sit wondering when will I know it is time. Am I alone? H

Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy

Farmer Bean

"Mommy I want to be a farmer girl when I grow up!" - Bean

Little Los

This is from Carlos' Blog. I would send you there... but he has enough readers. :) HA! 

"Happy Birthday Losiah!!!

Posted on 06. Apr, 2009 by loswhit.

(67)

I’ll never forget seeing this picture on my Blackberry for the first time.
Your mom and I pulled the car over and cried.
You were so perfect.
You see 3 Years ago today you came screaming into this world.
But the thing is…I wasn’t there.
I have no idea what I was doing at the moment.
Probably something irreverent and unnecessary.
I wonder if your Korean dad was stressed.
Probably not.  You were his 12th.
He was a fisherman you know?
I suck at fishing.
I’m actually scared of worms.
Sorry.

So here’s the deal.
You turn 3 today.

That means you are supposed to be done with your tantrums and crap.
OK?
No more of mommy calling me at work and saying…”I’m done with your son”
No more crapping on the floor.
No more screaming under the crack in your door… “DAAAAADDDDYYYYY!!!!”

It’s time to grow up and be 3.
Deal?
Cool.
Oh.
And remember.
Your Korean mom.
It’s not that she did not want you.
I promise you son.
It was because God created you for us.
Seanna needed someone to protect.
Sohaila needed someone to dress up.
Mom needed to know that it’s not just me.  All men are like this.
And me.
Well I just needed to be reminded how big God is.
You see.
You, Me.  We are straight up identical.
From the radius of our heads to the way we laugh.
It’s all the same.
So I finally figured out you were mine from jump street.
You just got cooked in another oven.
I thank God everyday for you son.
And I will continue to intentionally father you until the day I die.

I love you
Daddy

Mother Bean

I just remember my parents always calling me Mother Heather... 

I have no idea where she gets it from... She was picking the booger out of his nose before the picture shoot! 

Cavemen

Our friends moved to Missouri 30 years ago with just enough money for a down payment on some land. They were creative and they became cavemen! Literally in a cave! 

 

That is Mr. Ed, he was one of the three men who lived in this cave home. I know we like to have a little community living but... I draw the line with what we live it! :) 

We then did a little more exploring... 

It was fun to see inside them! 

Everyone was in having fun until we said one word...

BAT!

Seanna was out! 

There is nothing better than exploring and living life together with my kids! H

It Must Be In The Water

The girls were goofy... So I tried to capture their moods! 

Then I attempted to make them all look and smile but you know how that goes...

Back Woods, No Mans Land, The Sticks... I Am There!

When I was three my parents decided to move to the farmlands of Missouri. They lived in a small house with lots of acres. I remember there was  pond in the back and geese that I had to beat with a stick so they would not attack me. It is the time in our lives that my parents always reference stories from... We used to do this, In Missouri life was like that. It is fun to be an adult and come back with my parents. 

This was their sweet little house. 

The  main reason for this visit is for my parents to see some of their best friends that they had while they were back here. We have been having fun at their house...

Throwing rocks in the creek.

Making music. Hey that is my brother... have I mentioned he is here too? 

Chatted, and chatted and chatted some more! This is only the beginning of this trip! I can't wait to share more! H

Mommy Can I Pick Out My Clothes?

Sure Honey! 

BUT... Wait, shoot, um hang on...

Oh the road again...

The first stop of many! Birmingham AL! H

Whatcha doin'?

Cause I am taking a short drive this evening! 

Just a short little drive...

Anyone jealous? H

Family Night... Always Peachy!

Behind the curtains...

So I might have cut my finger open making the carrots for the family night! :) H

Everyday should be approached like a mountain.

Remember Mark... He passed away almost three months ago.  THREE MONTHS! No matter how many time you try to press the pause button on life it just keeps going. From my own experience with grief due to my dads passing I remember this is the time that reality sets in. Majority of family and friends have gotten busy again with life and the ones left alone are left suffocating from the pain. 

I was reading Angie's blog and saw this post from Mark's Journal. I love his writing. It may be the mountain man that I connect so well with.  It could be the fact that I loved Mark, or perhaps it is because he is like me and found God in the wilderness. 

August 15 (1996) –Mark’s John Muir Trail Journal

I wake up today knowing that never again will there be another day of the John Muir Trail.

Never again will I lay in my sleeping bag and stare at the stars at night.

No more pumping water.

No more days of adventure lie ahead.

Maybe not.

I learned that every day should be approached like a mountain.

One step at a time, and before you know it, its over.

You have completed that challenge.

Today we hike our last 6 miles of wilderness.

I can imagine how I will feel as I lay in my comfortable bed at home.

Dreaming of climbing that next pass.

Crossing that next meadow.

Life is different now—

I woke up in tent city this morning.

I went to a high rock and laid basking in the first sun of the day.

I thanked God for this experience.

I thanked Him for the warm sun.

I thanked Him for my beautiful family.

I thanked Him for all He has given me.

I thanked Him for His love, which is better than life.

I thanked Him for opening my eyes to His glory, to His love that sustains me through all.

He is my lord and savior.

I answer to Him.

I cry out for His mercy. And He answered me!

Mark’s experience on the John Muir Trail was a spiritual journey that forever shaped his perspective of God. It was the point in time when he realized what’s important in life.

What in your life has shaped your perspective of God? Please share if you would like. I’m interested in hearing. - Angie 

I loved that Mark was able to understand that we all have seasons in life. Times in life when it is physically, emotionally and just straight up tiring. He also recognized that the comforts of his own bed were coming soon. It would get easy again. His challenge was completed. But the best part was that he knew he would dream again. Dream of the next steps, the next journey over the next mountain. Crossing the next season of life. 

Are you climbing a mountain? Are you dreaming? Are you living? H