Whittaker Woman

You ask, I'll answer set 18

2. Do you have a consistent "quiet time"  seriously where do you find your own time with God and what do you read/do to nurture that friendship? (locking yourself in the bathroom to read some Psalms counts :)
Posted by: jen | May 13, 2008 at 07:42 AM

I promise one day we will have each and everyone of these questions answered!
Wow this post got long! Here it is broken down:
-My answer then
-My answer now
-My journey

*My answer then: I must confess that back when Jen asked this question I was confident in the answer. I was at a good place in my "quite times". My routine was consistent, and I felt connected to God.
I would go to bed, (Carlos and I do not go to bed at the same time) so I was alone and I would do my study. I  had been doing Beth Moore studies for over a year and each and every one lead me deeper into learning more about God. Everyday I was able to see how the Bible is alive. I was able to hear God's love for me and my life.  Beth Moore made me dig into the Word! Was it hard? Absolutely. Were there nights I was so mad that I had to do it. Yep. Were there times when I would justify why I deserved a free pass. Yeah. But no matter what the connection it created between myself and God made every night worth it.
*My answer now: Summer happened. I worked on two studies that about killed me. Finally I gave up. Lately I have been consistent at reading the Psalms, but I am wanting to have a study to go along with it. I want to work. I want to study the word. When I would do a one of Beth Moores studies sometimes it would take me 3 days to complete one of her days, but regardless it made me dig deep into the Bible. I miss that.
My Journey with this: Seriously,  I used to carry a lot of guilt around in my Christian life. Guilt about not following all the "rules". I was overwhelmed with all the rules that I FELT, I HAD to cross off. No sex, no drinking, no gossiping. Read your bible everyday, pray everyday, go to Church every Sunday. Pray this way, dress this way, BE this way.  I was guilt ridden by my constant failures. Then in the midst of it God spoke loud "I AM NOT A GOD OF GUILT"  Ok, it was actually Beth Moore and her words, but I felt God saying it loud and clear to me through her... "Heather I am not the one who is putting this guilt on you, Release it."  I realized that God wants me to give him what I got. Some days I go from dawn to midnight non stop. He knows that. Yet he wants me to give him that. He knows I am a mom. He knows that I don't get to go to the restroom alone. He knows my time is limited.  But when I do set some time for him, I can only imagine how much that time means to him. I guess my simple answer is... I give him what I can.
One last thing. I suck at praying. Thankfully he knows that too. One thing he has shown me is that I need to be in a constant place of prayer.  The season of life that I am in right now does not have an option of sitting on the couch with my bible, coffee, and have one on one conversations with the creator of the universe.  I long for those days but right now diapers, milk and homework run my life. So I have learned the do it now principal. If I think of someone, pray. If I read a need for prayer, pray. If I hurt, pray. Do it now because later I may be knee deep in timeouts or playdough. 
Thats where I am at. That has been my journey in a long jumbled post.

I must ask. What has been the best study you have ever done! I need to get a new study! H

I love Jesus but I drink a little

This just made my day...

HT: Angela

It's a sensative day in the Whittaker household

Here are my mans words about the journey we have been on this past year. It has been a hard road. One year ago today was one of the hardest days of my life, as we said good-bye to our family. Sandals. Here are his words,
"Since the day I got here I told my team that the first year I’m here I want to do one thing.
Close the gap between the crowd and the stage.
That means lots of things.
Here is how I laid out our first year goals to my team…
Well all I can say is, God did it.
Using the team I have around me and constant prayer, last Thursday night I can truly say that not only was the gap closed, it was destroyed.
It has taken lots of work, strategic teaching, strategic leading, and prayer. And the journey to close the gap is not over.
It is just beginning.
One night does not make a movement.
But it can ignite one.
A year ago TODAY I was leading in front of these people at the church that made me who I am…

A few months later I was leading in front of this…
The only hand raised was that of my 5 year old Sohaila.

The atmosphere was changing though.
I could see desire in the faces of the church to connect in a deeper way.

Last Thursday night I led in front of this…


2500 people united as one for One.

Knowing you are called to go somewhere makes it slightly easier (was that bad grammar?) but it was the hardest decision of my life.
I cried this morning alone in my office.
Yelling at God for taking me from a place that is real with themselves, others, and God without thinking twice about it.
Thanking God for bringing me to a place that has the leverage to actually impact an entire city.
See following God is not easy.
Some people have not been hip with changes, ME, the way I do things, where this church is heading.
My dad told me this would be the case.
That I need to surround myself with people who will follow the vision God has placed in my heart to see a church within the city of Atlanta striving towards authentic worship on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.
I believe when someone worships God on Sundays with an undignified love that it only begins to set aflame a passion in their hearts the rest of the week.
So that is why I am here. To have Atlanta, GA hear the rumblings from the walls of 3336 Peachtree Rd. and then see that rumbling pour out into the city and transform it one relationship at a time.
I’m Blessed to be here.

Father God,
I beg you. I beg you from my calloused heart to set my church free.
Free from any sort of inward focus and set us ablaze in this city.
Show us in any way, shape, and form how we are to change this city into the most authentic community of believers the world has ever seen.
To God Be The Glory
Amen".

Carlos

Repeat? Maybe? I don't know.

Ok friends, seriously I have lost my mind. There has been a blog on my heart for some time but I am questioning if I have already written it or not. I searched my archives, but came up empty so please humor me if I am repeating myself!

I have talked about my friend Nancy who uprooted with her family to be missionaries in Africa. Did I mention she has 4 boys. Talk about blog worthy material! Anyways  Nancy and I were friends in Riverside, but what bonded us even closer is the fact that God called us both to leave what we called home. We were on the same road, at the same time together. We were going to different places, but the bumps and curves that the road took each of us were very similar. Until now.
You see she had to make one of the hardest decisions of her life. Read her words...(For safety reasons her blog is password protected, I did got her approval and want to share what she has written)

June 5th, "We are facing one of the most difficult decisions of our lives. I have that familiar feeling in my gut that tells me what the answer is…could that be the Counselor?…but nevertheless it is painful. How do I condense it? I will certainly try, but if you’re in a hurry - you may want to come back later.

The bottom line is that it looks like J will be accepted to boarding school for seventh grade in the fall. This - in itself - is a miracle. Most MK’s here have been on the waiting list since infancy; J was placed on the list in March. There are so many factors that play into this decision. Yes, we have the option of homeschooling - but that doesn’t meet his longing and deep desire for friends, youth group, and extracurricular activities. J is really struggling right now because he realizes that all his friends in CA are graduating from the sixth grade - something he has looked forward to since kindergarten. He wants to go…something that we can’t ignore.

This morning in my quiet time the LORD reminded me of an event long ago…a decision similar to this one in which I had to trust God’s plan for J rather than my own. When he was 4, God clearly told me not to put him in preschool. I didn’t understand why at the time and it was really hard on me, but I knew that God had a reason and that somehow - that extra year at home would be important in the future. Now I know why. God wanted me to spend extra time with him then because He would be asking me to let go of him early. Wow. The foresight and wisdom of God."

Wow! Anyone in tears? I am every time I read it. Since then the decision has been made and J has only 10 more days at home. Nancy asks this question and I ask it of you...

"If you knew you had only two weeks left with your 12-year-old son at home…
What would you do?
What would you say?
Today I find myself facing these very questions.
I need a little help.
Give me grace, Lord, to face what lies ahead." -N

Please take a second and comment here to her, what would you do? Say? H

I don't have time for this!

My friend Danae posted the interview that Steven Curtis Chapman did on Larry King Live. I watched the GMA interview but because we down graded our cable we do not get CNN. I had forgotten about it until I read her post. I expected a 10 minute interview, so I clicked on it and began to watch. I was crying with in the first 10 seconds because of this picture.
Oh man I just can not handle the thought of that kind of grief.  I sat for 45 minutes captivated by the story. I did not have the time to watch it but I did and am so glad I did. If nothing else you have to watch Part 6 of it and learn about this flower. It's amazing! H

Pissed

I am,  for the first time declaring that I am pissed at God.

I find myself able to fall into his strength and love when my world is falling in, but today I have been confronted with something fairly simple and yet I am mad!

I feel like I have sacrificed so much for him (relatively speaking). I have been patient, attempted to be open and willing and given up so much. What fuels my anger is the fact that as I've continued to struggle, I have seen multiple ways out and into the light, but then last minute things turn black again. It is so frustrating.

Sorry for being real and so vague all at the same time! I only share because that is what I do here.  I share because I know there are others out there who are pissed too.

So I sign off as a pissed off woman of God who is confused, but willing to keep on trucking if it means I will bring him Praise! H

Ashley

Louie shared one of the most amazing stories I have ever heard yesterday. It is worth your time. If you have not heard Ashley's story it's a must! This story is so unreal, that for a moment or two I thought it was made up. It's not. It's as real as real can be. You can hear it here.  It's called Fruitcake and Ice Cream. Take the time and listen. H

You ask, I'll answer set 7

*What's for dinner?
Posted by: RickyG |

Rice.
Rice and chicken...NO
Rice and vegetables...NOPE
Rice casserole... NO, the Whittaker's had Brown Rice for dinner. Just Rice.
 
Why? Well our friend Brian and his family started to make a change in this world and The Whittaker Team is on board. Here is what caught my heart on Brian's blog,
" I don’t know how much you have read about the global food crisis that is currently happening, but the need is massive and the poor are suffering. A combination of natural disasters, rising oil prices, and a reduction in staple food items like rice are ravaging families who were already struggling to buy food for their family. Because of these factors inflation has kicked in and caused food prices to soar over the past few months. This rise in food prices triggered the recent outbreak of violence in Haiti and in Bangladesh the cost of a kilo of rice went from $.31 to $.56 in less than 3 months. Most of these families living in poverty earn less than $2 per day and most of them are skipping meals because of the increase in costs.
families affected by this crisis. I will write a weekly guide for each week with stories from these countries and their specific needs so we can end that weekly meal praying for those in that specific country."

Brian goes on to share how his family is going to make a difference...
"As a family we have committed to do something small that can make a big difference in the lives of families very much like us around the world. Here is our plan:

1) Take 10% of our food budget each week and give that money directly to the Compassion Food Crisis Fund. We have $300 budgeted for each week on all food/restaurant/vegetable co-op related items and we will give $30 each week to help these families.

2) Spend one meal a week eating rice and learning about the different countries and families affected by this crisis. I will write a weekly guide for each week with stories from these countries and their specific needs so we can end that weekly meal praying for those in that specific country."

And that is what we are doing. Now this is his families plan. Our budget is different than theirs, so we adjust. That is not the point. The point is to stop and take a stand. One meal a week for the sake of another humans life. Really its not a question for us.

So tonight we focused on Haiti. We looked at pictures of the country and how people live their lives. We talked about the lack of food and why, and finally while we ate, we prayed for them. Compassion has a link on their site that gives specific prayer requests! We are excited about it. I look forward to learning about the other countries in the weeks to come.  
Anyone willing to give up flavorful meal for a bowl of rice?

A newleywed fight 8 years ago...

 
One thing that I feel God is guiding me to do is to be transparent in my life. To share things that happen, the good, the amazing and then the terrible and hard. I feel like God has built me to do this and am able to handle it when people judge me for it. Anyways I feel like I am rambling. I wanted to share this email I got the other day from a old friend. (I got her approval, don't worry I am not about to just through up a email that someone sends me without their ok.) Please read it. It has encouraged me, and I hope it encourages you to know that God can use all things for his Glory!

"I don't think you know that it was because of you guys that I got to where I'm at today.  I remember when I was at small group, we had just started going and I was still used to being surface about everything.  Growing up in a church where things were "hush hush" and everything was "great" and "fine".  Me and XXXX were just starting the beginnings of our problems and I went to small group alone that night fully prepared to come up with a story of how XXXX was at home - he was just tired, blah blah blah.  Well, Carlos blew me away when he came alone as well and when people asked where you were he said you two had a fight and you weren't coming because you were mad at him... I was shocked - someone in church - a leader in fact, being open and blunt about problems and everyone didn't look at him bad  - it was okay.  I decided that night - for the first time EVER I told the people there in discussion time about our problems and it felt weird but so releasing... It was a breaking point. 

God used you guys - your fight :)  - to literally change my life.

I mean, this was my first step in getting real.  In opening up.  In letting people in.  I'm still not totally great at letting people in but I'm getting there.   I envision you two - your marriage, your lives.  When I feel myself crawling into that space again - trying to cover things up - I remind myself of that small group night.  It meant more to me than you'll ever know."

Now that is what I want my life to be about. I have no idea what our fight was about. It was our night to cook for small group, and I remember being so pissed that I could not even go and pretend to be ok. Not to mention that I did not want to be in the same car as Carlos so I sent him off to take the meal alone. If you know anything about my man I am sure you can hear some kind of witty remark about how we are fighting. Obviously his remark was impact full, since it has changed lives.

I guess I say this to encourage you to be real. To be YOU! Do you know what that person looks like? Are you captive by what others think you are? Despite the opinions of those around you and in your life are you free to be you? Because you are not living life until you can be free. WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK?

Pity Party!

Don’t you jut love having conversations in your head? It happens in my dome all the time. It maybe with the person who just cut ME off while I was driving, sometimes it is with Carlos after I give in and take out the trash, and sometimes it even is just with MYSELF as I tackle a thought process that I am trying to grasp. No matter what the talk in my head is about, there are always three things that keep me coming back for more.
First, I AM IN CONTROL! Which means the topic is chosen by ME! Second, it is always MY point of view, which is always correct! And  finally the best part of having these one sided conversations is the fact that no one can interrupt ME!
Until today…
I just got off the phone with Carlos. He was in Riverside visiting our old stomping grounds and hanging out with friends. It was then that  I had a sudden wave of disappointment hit me. Memories of what I had and the hurt of lost friendship, overwhelmed me. And so I gave myself a one-sided pity party. I sat alone and in MY head carried on a conversation about how let down I was by people I called friends. I kept coming back to the fact that I believe if you truly love someone and consider them a close friend you can at least talk to them once and a while. Send an email or a card. Something! Anything to show your commitment to the relationship.
Sounds good huh? I thought so too.
Well, this is right about when I got interrupted. God decided to knock me upside the head. He began to clearly show me what a hypocrite I was being. Complaining about how people treat me, but I was failing to look at how I am treating him.  I say I love him, but am fine if a day, days, or a week goes by with out sitting down and having a chat with him. OUCH. I heard him loud and clear! I know, I know, don’t point out the splinter in our friends eye without looking at the log in yours. Dang it! So I sat there humbled and quiet.
When was the last time you got knocked upside the head by God?

H

Mom are you crying again? -Seanna

Today was such a great day. We got to church on time, got a perfect parking spot, rocked out with Carlos on stage. Went to a fabulous lunch, then went back to church so the kids could see their daddy  singing. We even had the special pass called Carlos' keys that allows us up in the balcony where no one else was. We get seated, the music starts and the girls and I begin to grove. Then it happens, I see them. A couple cuddling on the front row. I don't mean hands around the waist  kind of cuddling I mean full body spooning.

(In the front row right in front of the guitar player in the vest)
How annoying I thought.
Then I look a little harder and instantly burst into tears.

Oh how I was wrong,
I did see a two people.
I did see an embrace.
I DID SEE LOVE.

This is what I saw. I did not know who they were.
Maybe they were brothers?
Maybe a father and son? Maybe just friends.
But what I could tell was  that the man in front was severly
handicapped and the other man was holding
him up to worship.
HOLDING HIM UP TO WORSHIP!
The honor, love and power that was showed to me in that
instant has changed me forever. H

Check out My Man's view of it all.