I am that girl who critiques people. I hate it. It haunts me. I see flaws vs possibilities, I focus on the bad vs the good. My glass is always half empty. And yet I realize that we all have our issues we all struggle with things. My man did an incredible post about his struggles. It made my heart swell because despite his flaws, God is using him. And through his honesty I am able to see my marriage has half full!
How are you "that Guy/Girl"? H
The Whittaker Family Motto: When mommy and daddy play together, family nights stay together!
Your turn...
Share your what your family does to connect.
1. Simply
write about it in a post on your blog.
2. LINK back to this site somewhere in your
post.
3. Then put your URL into Mr Linky below.
I can't wait to get
more ideas!
H
HEHE.
After this post on my mans blog, we needed a evening like this...
For some reason we make a good musical team, Carlos is the musician I am the one who claps off beat. You may think that a musical man would want a woman who sings along with him, but the thing that Carlos loves most about me is the fact that I have a non-musical ear. I don't get side tracked if a note is off key, or the beat is off. Most of the time I can't tell.
Tonight, he wanted to pick a part his new song, the words, its rhythm, the chorus. You should hear our conversations when I actually want to try to communicate something musical with my off rhythm frame of mind. It took us 10 minutes of me saying..."DANG IT! I wish I could tell you" But at the end it came out perfect. I love to write with my man. H
OOPS, sorry I did not post today. Can you believe it is 8pm and its the first time I've looked at my blog. I just realized the post I had scheduled did not post. Wow mark that in the record books!
I love co-living, well at least with those who we have lived with...
Bogie and Becca for 1 month in 2006
Joy and Billy from Aug 07-Feb 08
Alyssa and James from March 08- Aug 08
Every experience has been different. And yet each of the experiences have confirmed that we love to live with other people. The help, the support, the community is just so worth it! We will continue to do it. I think we live in a world that has fallen away from relationships. I think we have alienated ourselves from each other, which only leaves many of us lonely and overwhelmed. I want my life and my families lives to be as rich as possible. We were blessed to have people welcome us into their home when we needed it and we will do the same for others!
H
Well this past weekend our roommates moved out. I miss them already! I really enjoy co-living. We will see who is next. Tonight was one of those nights we wanted to have people living in our basement. The kids were in bed, business was done and the idea of a late night cup of coffee sounded so inviting! Instead we settled for a late night movie in bed. What do you and your love do to connect?
Remember when you were a kid and someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, the possibilities were endless. No amount of time or money or ability could stop you. There was a certain sense of freedom with it. There was no ceiling, the sky was the limit!
Then we age.
Reality sets in.
We realize we don't want to spend the next 25 years in college, out of no where bills accrue, and life circumstances hold us back. Chapters in our life books close without ever seeing the light. Essentially our dreams die.
When Carlos and I stared dating our dreams were ramped! Millions of idea's were possible. We dreamed of where we would live, the kind of house we would live in, how many kids we would have, the trips we would go on. Our hearts collided for hours as we dreamed of what life would look like. Then it happened. We got married. Reality hit. Things were not as easy as we dreamed. We struggled and grew apart. Our dreams were dying.
We lived this way for a while, but I began to build up walls. I did not want to put hope into something that I assumed would fail. I had done that to many times. I decided I was closing my book of dreams. Life was going to happen the way the deck of cards were dealt.
Life worked fine this way. It was a bit sad at times. I still set goals, I had my list. But the things on it were things I knew I could achieve. I knew no time, money or ability would hold me back. I was not dreaming I was only surviving.
It was not until God put some circumstances in front of me that opened my eyes to HIS dreams. Even though I stopped dreaming about my marriage, my kids, my life HE DID NOT!
I had a choice. I could continue on the colorless path or I could get uncomfortable allow God to color my pages of my dream book. I am flabbergasted at his art. I am in shock when he does something that is 100% my hearts desire, and yet I would never allow myself to dream that big.
So Jen, I know your question was specific about how much time we dream/talk ministry/church in our marriage and I have not answered that directly. I wanted you to know about my life's journey with dreaming and how vital it is. In regards to your question I would have to say that we are always talking about it because it is our life. But we make it a point to go out at least once a month and dream together. Its a date, but one with a purpose. We bring our journal and we dream. We dream big. And let me tell you our marriage has changed. Drastically. Dreams keeps you alive and it has awoke our marriage!
Let us to get real here. How many of you have stopped dreaming. Have you let go of something that you once hoped for. Is time, money or ability stopping you?
What did you want to be when you grew up? What's your dream Now? What's stopping you?
H
Carlos worked hard on this video last night, but did not get to put it on his blog because he fell asleep. I was a little sneaky and logged into his youtube account so I could up load it first. :) Oh he is gonna be mad, but all is fair in love and war!
He is the best! Please go tell him so... H
I have to say that I have had many wonderful gifts with this month long celebration, but Carlos toped it all when I got this today...
Jacinda is HERE! In Atlanta! In my house!
I had a hunch that Carlos was up to something. I even thought it was this, but the way it went down had me thrown way off guard.
I talked to Jacinda yesterday and she had no time to chat because she was throwing her dad's 50th birthday party last night. We had talked in detail about this party so I knew she was telling the truth. However last night Carlos was acting funny. He said "What could I do tomorrow that would make your birthday the best birthday ever? " Because he was asking such funny questions and acting awkward I was thinking that there was a big possibility that J was going to be coming. What was throwing me off was this birthday party for her dad.
This morning Carlos left early because he had a "video to shoot". I questioned his story, but in my head knew that there was no way Jacinda could throw a party in Fresno and get to Atlanta by the morning so I thought his story was legit. When he returned home i took a double take in his car just to see if he was alone. He was. So he came in and looked at me with THOSE kind of eyes and told me he was horny and needed some special time. As the great wife that I am we went up stairs and did the deed. Once we came down Carlos told me to look at my present and there Jacinda was sitting on my couch. I was so excited! I cried, of course I did... that's what I do now that I am thirty.
We sat and laughed at the means Carlos took to get me upstairs so he could get Jacinda inside without me knowing it. I mean it was a win win. He knew he would have me for at least a few minutes locked up in our room plus he got a present too!
I love my man! He has made me feel so loved. This however takes the cake. I am so excited to have my best friend here. To meet all my new friends, to see my church, to see my life.
Oh and by the way she did have the party, took the red eye and made it here by 8am! H
29 Roses for my last day of being 29!
Here is one for us all...
*Your husband seams to be very "tech conscience" and "connected." When Carlos is at home do you ever feel like you are having to compete with the computer for his time and attention. If so, how do you deal with it? Have you set rules?
Posted by: Erica
Dear Erica I do hear your question and yes there are things we do to draw lines, but I must confess that I am pretty connected myself. I do however like a clean house, and have three kids to occupy my time, but truth be told I am online A LOT too. Honestly the simple answer to this question is that I just ask him to stop and he does. His time at home during the week is pretty limited so he does not really get on his computer when he gets home until the kids are asleep. Then we sit like to little happy old people watching jeopardy together but instead we are on our mac's.
I will admit that the world is to connected and there needs to be a little reality in everyones life and so we make sure that happens. We date, we play, we have a relationship. After that we blog, twitter and spend our time online.
Ok peeps confession time. What is the average time you spend on line and what are you doing? H
Day 1: plate
Day 2: my dance video
Day 3: Doing the dishes (without me knowing it... this was huge!)
Day 4: Love note on bed!
Day 5: Starbucks gift Card
Day 6: oops
Day 7: I will give him a few free passes!
Day 8: a pack of Gummy Bears, which were soft and fabulous!
Day 9: Soda Pop Candy ( I always call Coke "Soda Pop" and so Carlos found these and bought them just for me! )
Day 10: Shoot I should be writting these down or at least taking a picture
Day 11: Because I can't remember them all. See its because I am turning OLD!
Day 12: He let me sleep and rest after our run! Bless him!
Day 13: Slurpee Surprise! I have been craving a slurpee all summer!
I wish I could be in his brain. I want to know the thought process that happens every morning. Why does the tooth brush get put down on the counter instead of it's rightful home that is inches away. There would be no extra movements, No more time would be needed. So why do I daily pick up the toothbrush from the counter? I really do not get bugged by this. It is the little things that make my man MY MAN. I know every morning when I wake up, the milk cap will be off of the container and there will be a cereal bowl somewhere left out. It just makes me smile. We are wired so differently and we make such a good team because of it. H
Speechless on Day 2!
What can I say.
Heather's Turning 30 In Style from Carlos Whittaker on Vimeo.
He is a hopeless romantic!
We all know know that it's my big b-day coming up. I must say last year at this time my birthday plans looked a lot different. Life just took a turn and so did those plans. All that to say, I asked Carlos for 30 days of love this year. I am a little more needy this year! Usually we can claim the week of your birthday as the YOU-GET-WHATEVER-YOU-WANT-WEEK, but this years its the month. Sounds logical right? It does to me!
This was my sweet love for July 1st...
"Heather, I know what you are thinking. If this plate is the sign of the things to come, you are screwed, but it is actually going to serve a purpose. You see, God is working in my hear right now. And is is stirring a revolution in me. I think I am going to serve the people of the South on big dish of authenticity one plate at a time. And who better to serve first than you. So here you go. I love you and am serving you my heart. Carlos."
And people think gifts are all about spending money. Nope I feel loved with a plate!
If you know your love language what is it? If you have no idea what I am talking about... find out.
In the past year, we have lived with others for a total of 11 of the 12 months. I am beginning to forget what life would be like without a ton of people around. Here is one fabulous thing about living with others. The kids are down and we decide to go out, and we can!
It's moments like these that keep our marriage alive! I love him. H
Carlos has been out of town for a few days, and to make things worse...
he was in Cali.
However, he did come home with... Some Animal Style Love.
The fries did not resurrect as well as I had hoped, but the hamburgers were delicious! Even at 9am! WHAT A MAN I HAVE!
One thing that I feel God is guiding me to do is to be transparent in my life. To share things that happen, the good, the amazing and then the terrible and hard. I feel like God has built me to do this and am able to handle it when people judge me for it. Anyways I feel like I am rambling. I wanted to share this email I got the other day from a old friend. (I got her approval, don't worry I am not about to just through up a email that someone sends me without their ok.) Please read it. It has encouraged me, and I hope it encourages you to know that God can use all things for his Glory!
"I don't think you know that it was because of you guys that I got to where I'm at today. I remember when I was at small group, we had just started going and I was still used to being surface about everything. Growing up in a church where things were "hush hush" and everything was "great" and "fine". Me and XXXX were just starting the beginnings of our problems and I went to small group alone that night fully prepared to come up with a story of how XXXX was at home - he was just tired, blah blah blah. Well, Carlos blew me away when he came alone as well and when people asked where you were he said you two had a fight and you weren't coming because you were mad at him... I was shocked - someone in church - a leader in fact, being open and blunt about problems and everyone didn't look at him bad - it was okay. I decided that night - for the first time EVER I told the people there in discussion time about our problems and it felt weird but so releasing... It was a breaking point.
God used you guys - your fight :) - to literally change my life.
I mean, this was my first step in getting real. In opening up. In letting people in. I'm still not totally great at letting people in but I'm getting there. I envision you two - your marriage, your lives. When I feel myself crawling into that space again - trying to cover things up - I remind myself of that small group night. It meant more to me than you'll ever know."
Now that is what I want my life to be about. I have no idea what our fight was about. It was our night to cook for small group, and I remember being so pissed that I could not even go and pretend to be ok. Not to mention that I did not want to be in the same car as Carlos so I sent him off to take the meal alone. If you know anything about my man I am sure you can hear some kind of witty remark about how we are fighting. Obviously his remark was impact full, since it has changed lives.
I guess I say this to encourage you to be real. To be YOU! Do you know what that person looks like? Are you captive by what others think you are? Despite the opinions of those around you and in your life are you free to be you? Because you are not living life until you can be free. WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK?
It's made me who I am, sign me up, lets do it again. I love you babe. H
All right, I guess I am slow and behind the new technology of our times. I NEVER knew that lawn mowers have a little switch that makes it move on their own. Today I was pushing the lawn mower as hard as I could up hill, when I heard Carlos yelling from the window. He pointed to the mower and said to push the button. As I did I learned that this great piece of machinery has a GO button. All these years I would bring cold water to Carlos because I have thought he was working so hard. Ha, I am in the light now, I am in the light! H
Wow, we have been so busy. I have had my grandma here, been sick and well, I have three kids... that's enough said. Carlos has been working crazy with the Drive conference, and truth be told we needed a break! So I was a little sneaky and asked our roommates if they could watch our little ones while Carlos and I went to Franklin TN, to go to our good friend Randy's wine tasting. All week we kept it a secret from Carlos. Anyways I played it off till the last minute and surprised him. He was so excited. Oh, the joys of leaving your kids at home! Just the thought of a 4 hour car ride with silence was beautiful. And it was. Just lovely!
We got here had a great lunch in downtown Franklin with Chad and Jen, then headed over to Randy's where we took part in a wonderful wine tasting that was to benefit Kalein. The collection of wine that we tasted was donated to him and each wine was at least a $100 bottle and a couple reached above $1000. Many vintage and quite tasty. However it was probably the first and probably last time I will ever have a glass of wine that cost so much! Our friend JVo posted the list on his blog. We mingled with lots of fun people and had a great night! And now the best part of this weekend is that it is 9:44 am and I am still in bed! 
There were about 20 great people, plus some fabulous food.
This is our great friend Spence and Micheal W Smith.
I will admit that his music is not on my playlist, but the
fellow is pretty HOT! He even made People 's Magazines
50 most beautiful people! H
Recent Comments